Kate Kosmos Artist Statement

January 2023

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So often we live as though we have control over our destinies but the universe is vast and mysterious; so much is unknown. We navigate life’s circumstances to the best of our abilities. At times we experience success. Other times our efforts seem to fall short and we experience failure. There are times of temporary stagnancy, and times when we gain so much momentum that we feel unstoppable. Life is an experiential continuum. We experience joy, sorrow, connection, loss, clarity, confusion, complacency, urgency, and every emotion imaginable. As a species, humans have incredible capacity to make meaning and feel deeply.

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Our internal worlds are rich with textured layers and nuances. Questions about existential existence and meaning of life have been longstanding discussion topics throughout history. I do not claim to have answers, nor do I presume to understand existence or meaning of life for anyone other than myself. I share the following story as the foundation for creating this Touchstone.

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When I was a teenager, I had an existential experience that provided me with a different vantage point from that of physical life. I had a medical emergency and in this process I was suddenly outside of my body and witness to everything taking place to revive me. I was floating above, looking down, weightless, and very much alive. I had the capacity to move and follow those below me as they worked on my body. My mother was present and I experienced her urgency but as hard as I tried to communicate with her, she could not hear me. I remember repeating, “I’m right here mom, I’m fine.” I witnessed my mom in her franticness, and the medical staff rushing to help. I watched as people jumped up from their tables and took actions to assist, as they lifted me onto a gurney, and as they transported my body through the hospital corridors. There were sounds of the gurney’s wheels, the pattering of feet on the floor, and people talking back and forth as I was moved quickly into the emergency department. The visual physical commotion was remarkable. I could not understand why people were so concerned and frantic because I felt fine. In reality, I was fine.

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I experienced a calmness and wellbeing that I had never experienced before. I was very much alive. I could see and observe. I could hear and had “voice”. I could perceive and think. I could move and follow. I was consciously aware. But despite my efforts, people could not perceive me. They could not hear me as I attempted to get their attention and provide reassurance. The only thing people were aware of was my motionless and nonresponsive body.

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The medical staff’s efforts to revive me worked. As quickly as I had exited my body, I was suddenly sucked back into my physical form and landed with force, and in excruciating pain. It was as if I was under siege. My somatic experience became amplified. There were loud sounds, smells, blaring lights, temperature shifts, and my body was encumbered with wires and apparatuses. The juxtaposition of my existential experience and physical experience was remarkable. It took me many years to understand and frame this experience for myself, although I was able to recall the experience and eventually discuss it after my body recovered and after I became more cognitively alert.

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The frames we use to explain exceptional phenomena are dependent on a variety of variables such as cultural situatedness, religious and spiritual beliefs, definitions of reality, and our life experiences, to name a few. Are we simply our physical forms? Does life only reflect the physical manifestation of respiration, heart rate and brain activity? Is consciousness something greater than the thoughts and reality we construct based on physical existence? Based on my experience, I have come to understand that my existence is far more than my physical form. It is as if my body is a vehicle that enables me to navigate through physical life in the here and now; but my existence is more expansive than that of my physical form. In my experience there is another dimension to existence, one of a metaphysical nature.

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Although there are scientific efforts to explore consciousness, exceptional experiences and metaphysics, methods are not yet advanced enough to unveil the mysteries of the universe and life. There are many perspectives and beliefs such as religious, spiritual, psychospiritual, and Eastern and Western traditions, which people use to frame the concept of consciousness or metaphysical existence. In my experience having been raised Greek Orthodox, I believe in the soul or energetic existence, but my perspective departs from my religious pedagogy in that I question perennial philosophy and one ultimate metaphysical truth. Quite possibly I will never know the answers to many of the questions I have about an etheric dimension of self. However, in my experience a metaphysical dimension exists.

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The inspiration for this Touchstone, Epiphany, was born from my metaphysical experience as a teenager and personal insight that emerged as a result of this exceptional experience. The purpose of this Touchstone is to provide a diaphanous conceptual and somatic experience using crystals as an extension of, and metaphor for exploration of the cosmos. I am deeply grateful to Colors In Motion, Linda DeHart, Christopher Graefe, and Catharine DeLong for their creative collaboration in articulating this elusive experience as a participatory art form of beauty and reflection.